Welcome to the Joys and Horrors of Online Dating

I've been trying the online desi dating scene for a while now. Hmmm..having quite the experience so far. Lets just say there is no shortage of geeky doctors, engineers or pharmacists in the world! Putting up the profile was one thing..what the hell are you supposed to write on those things? Here you are trying to condense your crazy, complex personality into one little blurb, trying to attract someone cool and compatible amidst the sea of smucks. I'm not trying to be harsh, but if you browse the profiles, you too will see that picking a winner out of the bunch isn't the easiest thing. So far, I've would have had better luck being struck by lightening. I remember when I first signed up on one of those websites, I got tons of responses right away. I guess when they see "fresh meat" on the site, everyone tries to get it. Its worse for people with their pictures on. A couple of my friends have theirs on, and have gotten their inboxes bombarded with emails. As for me, I tried to respond to everyone (its soooo rude when people don't even respond back, even if its to say they're not interested) and actually found a few profiles interesting.

Then you go through to the next step, which is the Email Stage. Here you can start to read the person's personality more. Believe me, you can't hide the dorkiness forever!! You send your pic they send theirs. I guess I'm pretty picky because I haven't gotten one "Wow, he's hot" picture yet. And like I said in my previous posts, I'm not hung up on Supermodel looks. A couple of the guys were decent, but its still pretty hard to tell anything from those pictures. Either they are fuzzy or taken far away ( you gotta look out for those) or its some cheezy Bollywood picture where you can imagine that their wardrobe contains several silk shirts in all colors and white tennis shoes. Scary, I tell you!! For me, I have to ask myself the key question when I see a picture, which is "Can I imagine kissing him?". That on its own will give me a pretty good clue if he'll pass on to Stage 3 or be sent back to the online trenches.

But if you're lucky, a few will pass that and go on to the Lets Talk Stage. I have talked to a few guys and some were actually interesting. At this point, you're thinking: "Ok, he's not bad looking, I can find something physically attractive about him from his picture, his personality keeps me interested, lets meet and see whats wrong with him!". Ever heard of that phrase, "If its too good to be true, it probably is"..well, that applies to men as well. Had too many experiences where you get strung along thinking you met Prince Charming only to meet him and find out the whole compatibility thing was a bust.

Lets take one guy, we'll call him Pompous Vertically Challenged Man (PVCM for short). PVCM was good in the beginning. He passed all three crucial stages and I was ready to jump in and meet the guy. Since he lived pretty far away, I coordinated my visit with him with a wedding I had to go to. So after the wedding, I nervously dressed up, tried to look hot and sexy. But not TOO sexy, because then you could easily drift into Sluttydom and thats not the type of first date impression I care to make. So lets leave it at hot. After primping, we met at a bar nearby.

I had to sneak away from the wedding festivites and didnt tell anyone I was going to meet some online dude, because then I would have been flooded with questions, it would have reached the rumour mill in a nano second and the Aunties would have had a field day with it. It was just the type of thing they would have jumped on and made it way more than it actually was. Remember, to most of the older crowd in our community, dating is still a very western concept. Most of the parents hardly knew each other before they got hitched. So they still don't understand that us young'uns want to know someone and actually care about them before we dive in for a lifetime.

Ok..back to my story. I was supposed to wait at the bar and meet him. I sat there for a while looking around. I saw one desi who looks pretty hot and I was thinking " could that be him?". But then he walked straight past me. So I waited, feeling pretty damn nervous. Passing the safe feeling of being behind a computer screen now seems very daunting. My wait ended about 10 minutes later, when PVCM shows up. He is much shorter than he said on his profile. I'm 5'4 and with he was the same height.. Hmmm. I feel a tad disappointed because I realize the dude has already lied to me about basic physical attributes, but on second thought, I'm here, so why not make the best of it. We did get along on the phone, right? Gotta think positive. So we sit at the bar and order something. The weird feeling I was previously having lingers. I'm trying to fill the conversation in with a lot of yadda yadda yada, hoping to feel more comfortable but somehow all I feel is weird! We decide to leave and go to a restaurant. He drives us (ya, I know, he could be a closet axe murderer and kill me when I get in this car, but naive little me think like that at the time). Let me backup a bit. Walking through the parking lot he asks me to pick which one I'd think is his car. So I start with a trashy car (praying inside he says no)..he does. Then I move up to asking if an Accord is his. No again. We play this silly little game for what seems like eternity. You'd think if I got it wrong 3 times, he'd stop. But nooooooo, he goes on. The lot was packed btw, so you can imagine just how frustrated by the end of it.

To make a very long story short, he was driving an Mercedes Sports. All black..all leather. I got to hand it to PVCM, he has good taste in cars. The glow of the moment ended when we got in the car. All he could talk about was how he got this car when there was some humungous waiting list for it and how much money he makes and how much money he makes and did I mention he makes a lot of money. That put me off totally. Ya, sure he brings in the bacon (and some eggs and toast)..but bragging about it incessently isn't going to make this lady fall for you. One things I value in Modesty. I'm amazed when you meet people who have done so much or made so much or are very accomplished all around and they don't go tooting their own horn. They're modest and let people see there personality for what it is. What you are is definitely more important than what you are.

Well, all night long, all we talked about was HIM. What he likes, what he does, how he knows so and so (namedropping is a huge pet peeve) and how in general he's basically this God who any woman would loooooooove to have and I'm just lucky to be spending a few of his precious hours! (oh! lucky lucky me!).The guy is 35 and I'm sitting there thinking, "If you're such a catch Shorty than why haven't you been snatched up already?".He goes on to tell me how he's so good looking and has never been turned down by a girl. Oh goody.

Our wonderful predate conversations are now becoming a distant memory. Seeing him, in the flesh and in 3D, is definitely a reality check from the phone calls and blurry pics. I'm quickly realizing that he isn't the one and I'm trying to be polite and listen to his incessant self promotion. I'm not even sure he could tell you 4 things about me from our conversation, but I know more than I want to know. He actually told me to meet him again during my weekend. But I blamed it on the Aunties, and said it would be hard to get out. Uh huh. Then he tries to lean in for a kiss before I leave. Ok..does he actually think I was interested AT ALL?..Because I tried to look as bored as humanely possible, anything to drop the hint. I turn away at the right moment and give him a hug instead. All the while thinking, why do I have to touch him?...haven't I had to deal with enough all night? I leave back to the hotel..tired..disappointed.



Thats just one of my online nightmare stories..I could go on..But I'll spare you the gory details for another post. I'm tired just writing about it. Ah, I'm hoping someday all this searching will be worth it and I can laugh about it all with my fabulous hot husband:) (sure..right..whatever)

Goodnight.