Male Friends..Are They A Myth We've Created or Do They Exist?

I've always wondered if anyone has the answers to the age old question about women and men being friends..and only friends. I've always found it easy to hang with my guy friends and sometimes its easier to talk with them then with women (no disrespect to my womenfolk..I love you all still!).

Lets face it..men are so much more uncomplicated. Ok, I take that back..They appear to be more uncomplicated (you guys are verrrry sneaky!). If you watch any two typical guys ,who are friends, you will notice they would rather skim through the issues of Women, Sports etc all while watching Sports Center. (and drinking beer!)

Unlike us, you rarely hear them having a "whine and cheese" session about why we never called or analyzing every little ity bitty detail on whether we like them or not. I'm sure the metrosexual, openly sensitive men of 2005, do talk to their close friends about these issues, but its not something they sit on the phone and spend 3 and 1/2 gabbing about.

A typical conversation would be :

Guy 1 - "Dude, this girl I like is giving me mixed signals"
Guy 2 - "Dump her"

Or, as my guy friends say, the other most popular answer for problems de jour..is "Sleep with her". But usually, answer #2 must proceed answer #1, just in case you miss a chance for Booty.

Finito..simple answers and everything is wrapped up in a neat, clean 30 minute sitcom. They can then get back to business of which PS2 game rocks.Meanwhile, you and I are sitting on the phone for what seems like world record times, having a massive Dr Phil session on why men do the things they do.

No simplicity..just a huge complicated analysis (which rarely provides us with the answers). Sometimes I get more confused after its all said and done.

That is why I sometimes prefer talking to men. Not for all of their answers (which face it guys, are sometimes too simple and too testosterone driven), but for the fact that they don't obsess about things like we do. You can chill with a guy and talk about everything and anything..and that includes NOT having to discuss why or why not his or your love life isn't going anywhere. If you don't want to delve too deep into your personal life..no problem. No questions asked unless you're the one to talk about it first.

With chicks, if you know one of your galpals is having trouble with her Bf..if you DON'T ask, it's like you don't care (and as soon as you do, Dr Phil's session comes a ringin). Ya, we're sensitive like that. Men seem to be just more easily able to talk about life and enjoying it then we are.

Ok..so thats why I like talking to you XY Chromosome People. Talking to you guys can be very simple and stress free. Also, its nice to have a male perspective on things.

But on the topic if Men and Women can STAY friends..hmmm, the verdict is still out on that one. Yes, I have a select few male friends with whom nothing has crossed the friendship line. They haven't asked me out, I haven't returned the favor. No admission of liking on both parts. (Though I have heard rumours that they did like me at some point in our friendship. hmmm) But then there's the majority of my guy friends that I've known throughout the years..whom, though I love chatting to, have sooner or later dropped the "I like you, do you like me?" bomb. Thats when things get messy and if you're not into Mr Guy Friend, then you're bound to cause hurt feelings (cuz WHO really can answer the "Do you like me back" question tactfully?). Your relationship is forever changed and you're down one guy friend.

Sometimes, even if you aren't openly attracted to each other in the beginning. After spending time, platonically chilling together, you realize.."Hey, this guys personality rocks". Sure he bares a striking resemblance to Pee Wee Herman. Sure, you know all his annoying little habits. Sure his hair resembles Mr Clean. But the personality is the catcher! I've had guy friends who I usually wouldn't be attracted to, becoming more attractive. For me, an awesome personality is much more attractive then a pretty face. (though I'm not discounting the supermodel men..If any of you hotties are reading this..please puh lease apply!) After time, it's almost like you start looking at them differently..they start morphing from a Putz to a Stud...presto!

So basically you're doomed either way. I'm not saying that if both parties DO like each other, that it couldn't be a fabulous thing (b/c I've been there on that), but once you cross the friend line you really can't go back. Emotions are a very messy thing and once you've kissed someone they will never just be your friend (even if he kissed like a drunken jellyfish and you were traumatized by the event).

A lot of guys I've talked to on this very topic, have openly, flat out told me "There is no such thing as having a girl as a just a friend. We don't really want to waste our time, and if we're "friends" with her, we are looking for more". I've even talked to one guy who said thats his fail proof dating tactic, is to lure women in with the friend pretense so that he can appear all sensitive and date-worthy, and then he drops the "like you" bomb. He says no women can resist a guy who they trust and have gotten to know, and that playing the friend card only works to cancel out his bad points. (This smuck was talking about it like he was teaching a course!)

I guess I can sometimes be very naive about if you guys just want to be friends or not. Sometimes the supposed signals are so subtle that I can't tell if you're winking at me or have something stuck in your contact lense. Do you like me? Am I just reading into things? What are your intentions? (haha, I sound like someone's Dad on that last one!)

What it comes down to People, is Can we Girls, just be platonic with you Guys? In a way, where noone is looking for anything and the only motivation is enjoy each others company. Or are Male Friends just a wishful myth we've created?

Holla back at me and let me know what you think.. It'll be interesting to hear both male and female opinions on this...so don't be shy.